We approach life with an enthusiasm that only falling in love can produce when we are struck by Cupid’s arrow and infected by sentiments of love and passion. We laugh and flirt, floating through life with wild fantasies of what will happen the next time we meet. We tell each other, “I’ve never felt this way about anybody,” and we sincerely feel we’ve discovered our “soulmate.”
The time we spend together is incredible because we trust our soulmate with everything, letting go of inhibitions and seeing just the gorgeous, magnificent, sexy, clever person who can provide us with everything we’ve ever desired.
The heat and aliveness of our connection sustain us both as we battle to separate, to become ourselves again until the next time we meet. Read quotes about love you forever collected by Reneturrek.com and you’ll feel it yourself.
It’s a big dsage of love virus or infatuation, and although we’re feeling great about ourselves, life, and the world, it’s fair to say that maintaining this degree of infatuation is unattainable.
I’m no longer enamored with you.
As reality sets in, we will either fall with a thud and feel as if every bone in our body has been broken, or we will land with a little bump and feel as if we have broken every bone in our body. Or, if we’re lucky, we’ll be able to float and land gently, retaining at least part of the love and passion.
Instead of asking whether we can stay in love forever, maybe the better question is ‘at what level can we stay in love?’
In therapy, couples often tell their partners, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” We have a brief discussion about what this implies and learn that the couple’s relationship has lost the initial sensation of infatuation. ‘What is missing in your relationship?’ may be my query to them. and the most common response is that the thrill has worn off.
Is it the thrill of the chase that keeps us in love?
I inquire about what that lost enthusiasm could look like in their relationship, wanting to learn more about it. Going out to eat, taking walks, watching movies, and generally spending time together with no one else is the normal response.
While this is a lovely notion, it is unlikely to make much of an impact on its own. Imagine leaving the mother-in-law babysitting for the first time and going out for a romantic lunch. Perhaps there are resentments simmering under the surface regarding the unequal distribution of family responsibilities, income, or leisure time. Maybe the previous dispute was never settled, or maybe you don’t make love enough. This time together with no one else will be filled with a herd of figurative elephants-in-the-room rather than love.
This is so different from how we felt when we first met, and I can see how love can persist even if being in love has been stomped down by elephants.
What is the purpose of this link?
Regular communication is essential for staying in love. We would have chatted, emailed, kept in contact on social media, and met on a regular basis when we first met. We would have spent a significant portion of the day thinking about each other. This intensity also builds a degree of trust, which is how we stayed in love in those early days.
The relationship we make establishes trust. We learn to trust a spouse when we see consistent answers and behaviors from them. They become dependable, and we know what to anticipate from them.
That’s when we may start to break free from the infatuation, when we can let go of the feeling of being in love. At this point, we must remind ourselves of the following:
1. What is it about our mate that we adore?
It’s easy to forget what brought us together in the first place when life becomes difficult. Remembering what we love about our spouse and our relationship, as well as summoning the feelings associated with that love, will keep the flame burning. Throughout the partnership, the size of the flame of love will fluctuate, which might assist to maintain some of the crucial excitement.
2. They are not us; they are a distinct individual.
When we’re stressed, we often seek rapid results and expect our spouse to know what we’re thinking. So yet, I haven’t encountered anybody who is capable of doing so! This anticipation will almost certainly result in disappointment and pain. It will assist a lot if you remember that they are not us and that they have their own thoughts, ideas, and beliefs.
3. Recognizing that none of us is flawless.
We all make errors. We must be prepared to forgive a bit and enjoy the behaviors that irritate us the most at times.
4. ost importantly, keep the lines of communication open!
I’ve been interviewed on the radio many times about relationships, and one of the topics I’m commonly asked is, “Is talking the glue that ties the relationship together?” Typically, my response is that it depends on the topic at hand. One of the most crucial components of our relationship and a significant part of remaining in love is being able to tell each other what’s going on for us, our thoughts and feelings
It’s not only about talking when it comes to communication; it’s also about listening. Listening objectively to our spouse and allowing them to speak without imposing our own interpretation of events or thoughts; we will learn something new about each other throughout the relationship. If we can do this, our relationship will never get monotonous.
5. Show your appreciation for one another.
It isn’t as difficult as it may seem to appreciate our differences, commonalities, and what we can give one another. Acceptance stems from all of the preceding elements, which I have tried on both my clients and myself. It may offer tranquility and curiosity to our connection while maintaining a healthy balance of trust and excitement.
So, can we be in love indefinitely?
That was the first query, and I believe the answer is yes. As long as we don’t anticipate the awe we had at the start of our relationship to endure indefinitely. Accepting that love has multiple levels and that the flame has to be tended to. The warmth and closeness of being in love may then be felt indefinitely